By Renée Tillotson
Have you ever traveled as an adult with a stuffed animal? In December, just before I left for a Nia / MELT retreat in Costa Rica, my good friend Yvonne Siet presented me with the unlikely gift of a teddy bear for my 69th birthday. Yes, a fluffy blonde teddy bear!
Yvonne lost her mom the year before last, misses her terribly, and gave me a teddy bear to hug whenever I miss my dad. I had just officiated a celebration of life for Dad a couple of weeks earlier. Dad and I had never had the kind of cuddly relationship that Yvonne shared with her mother, and I haven’t owned a stuffed animal since childhood, yet I appreciated her gesture.
This trip to Costa Rica was coming at the close of a power-packed year in which I was attending to lots of family health issues on top of the normal tasks I undertake for Still & Moving Center and the Academy of Mindful Movement. This fall we managed to produce the center’s annual Diwali festival of light, graduated our 6th cohort from the Academy, and got the 2025 Still & Moving Almanac into print – all while I was saying goodbye to Dad.
I was feeling pretty ragged. A retreat emphasizing self care sounded great.
Honestly though, I was going to be traveling alone internationally for the first time in half a century. I know only a handful of Spanish phrases, and I wasn’t sure how I would find my way from the airport in San Jose, Costa Rica to the retreat location. I was doing my best to quell my nervousness on top of my exhaustion.
The morning of my departure, I managed to fit some clothes into my suitcase around the full-sized MELT foam roller I also crammed in. I finished just in time for Cliff to zip closed its bulging sides and drive me to the airport. We were pulling out of the driveway when I asked him to stop. I needed to run back into the house for something.
I had to get Teddy.
Now, whatever got into my head to bring a stuffed animal on the plane with me, I had no idea. However, when I am called to do something that makes no sense to my rational mind, and yet it seems harmless, I usually follow that impulse these days. Debbie and Carlos Rosas taught us in our Nia Black Belt training to “heed the mandate of spirit”, and I’ve found it wise to adhere to that practice. I felt as if I was having one of those moments, silly as it seems.
Not all that surprised that his wife was having one of her spur-of-the-moment episodes, Cliff made a practical suggestion on my decision to bring a stuffy on my journey.
“I remember on our surf trips to Costa Rica all those kids playing soccer in the village squares with rag balls,” he reminded me. “They were so happy when we gave them the new soccer balls we had brought along with us from the US. You’re already carrying almost more than you can handle with that huge suitcase and your backpack, and you’ll probably buy souvenirs. Before you leave Costa Rica, you can just find a little child who would really enjoy a new toy.”
I would not have thought of that possibility, and I didn’t know how I felt about giving away a present I had just received from a dear friend, but I thanked him for his suggestion.
Teddy and I set off on our grand adventure. I have to say, I DID feel a little more at ease having a travel companion, even if he had button eyes and a fuzzy nose. He arrived with me at the San Jose airport, and we had no trouble making it through customs or finding our driver to the retreat center. He looked out over the beautiful view from our room once we arrived. Whew.
I have no idea what kind of crazy person my fellow retreat participants took me to be, carrying a teddy bear around to all our class sessions and meals. Fortunately for the sake of not feeling as if I had lost all my marbles, I recalled people using travel gnomes in their vacation photos. “Oh!” I thought, “I can just send photos with Teddy as a travelogue to our grandkids!” And so for the next 6 days, that’s what I did.
He watched my delight at finally being able to dance again with my mentor Debbie Rosas*, founder of the Nia technique. Including my first Nia White Belt training in 2003, I had taken a dozen intensive Nia trainings with Debbie, earning my 2nd Degree Nia Black Belt from her in early 2019. I continued to study with Debbie via video during the pandemic and beyond. Here at the Self Care retreat in Costa Rica, I was finally catching back up with Debbie, after a six-year drought with no live Debbie in my life, the chance to reconnect with her was my foremost reason for coming to this retreat. Dancing in person on the same floor as Debbie, I was in seventh heaven!
Teddy was there for my first MELT class with the brilliant founder of the MELT Method, Sue Hitzmann. Even though his stuffing did not include the neurofascia that Sue spent the week teaching us how to take care of in our bodies, he was nevertheless a perky attendee.
Meanwhile, I was amazed by what a cutting frontier the study of our fascia system actually is. I came away from the retreat convinced: Still & Moving Center and the Academy of Mindful Movement need to include work with the fascia. I plan to take MELT training myself to be able to offer ‘Melted Nia’ classes, so to speak!
This is important stuff, folks, and the MELT method provides incredible tools for dealing with the “stuck stress” in our fascia, addressing and preventing all sorts of maladies, from strained ankles to computer necks to lower back pain with the soft MELT balls and foam rollers.
Teddy also accompanied me on a remarkable outing to visit thunderous waterfalls and the living animals of Costa Rica at the La Paz Waterfall Gardens. I loved seeing a toucan, not on a Fruit Loops box but alive, perched just a few feet beyond my reach. The lady cougar posed magnificently on her rocky ledge. Our guide told us that he would find it an honor to be eaten for lunch by the mighty king of the tropical jungle, the jaguar, luxuriantly lounging before us – and our guide was only half kidding!!!
I felt so much gratitude for the grit Debbie Rosas and Sue Hitsmann have shown as they blaze their own paths. Each of them has created their own unique movement practices and written books to “heal the world, one body at a time”. How incredibly privileged I felt to spend a week with these two powerhouse women.
Fully replenished and inspired, I wrapped up my retreat at Pura Vida Retreat & Spa, only to realize that Teddy and I had spent the whole time with adults. We had met no children. Much as I had fallen in love with Teddy, I felt that he had given me so much comfort, it was only fair to share him. I talked with Eduardo, the retreat’s wonderful General Manager, asking whether he could help me to find a worthy new owner for my stuffy. He assured me that among the retreat’s many maintenance men and women – none of whom would normally have the means to purchase such a plush toy for their child’s Christmas – he would find a fitting home for Teddy.
Good to his word, Eduardo recently sent me this photo of Catalina, happily cuddling her new teddy bear.
Even though he was mine for only one lovely week, I felt remarkably happy and satisfied to see Teddy with his new owner. I’m sure he will take as good care of her as he did of me.














Renée Tillotson

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